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Brazil’s President: Poop Less, Save The Earth


Negotiating how often and how much people go number two is an impossibly crappy idea.

But this is what Brazil’s president, Jair Bolsonaro, is suggesting, according to a new report.

It’s hard to imagine Dr. Oz, who has famously counseled his viewers on the size, shape and color of stool, Bolsonaro suggested to Agence France-Presse that dumping every other day is the way to go.

How he’d enforce such a thing defies imagination.

“It’s enough to eat a little less. You talk about environmental pollution. It’s enough to poop every other day,” Bolsonaro said. “That will be better for the whole world.”

Bolsonaro is no stranger to strange ideas. He is a family-values style politician who opposes same-sex marriage and homosexuality and once told Playboy that he’d be “incapable of loving” a gay son. He also announced in a political speech that he had his daughter in a “moment of weakness.” He has four sons from his first two wives and a daughter from his current spouse.

Last year, Brazil’s president was stabbed in the stomach during a campaign event. Police apprehended his attacker, who reportedly has a paranoid delusion disorder.

Bolsonaro’s feces idea stemmed from being severely criticized for Brazil’s deforestation problem. He’s not a believer in global warming and shut down three government divisions pertaining to the environment.

Seems a little far-flushed to take his political issues out on his constituents’ bowels.

“The Amazon is vital to the exchange of oxygen for carbon dioxide in the atmosphere — a check on global warming,” explained the report in Yahoo News.

Maybe it’s true we could all benefit from less shit in our lives.

But enforcing such a thing borders on lunacy.

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